A Tribute at Father's Day

I wrote this piece last June, two days before Father's Day. I just wanna share it here..

A Tribute

It was 3 days after christmas. I never thought it would be the longest day of my life. Just like an ordinary day, I woke up and got ready for a christening celebration with our neighbor. I prepared and dressed myself formally and headed for the church. Before leaving, my dad asked "Niña, how much will you give to your new godchild?" and I replied with a smiling face and a happy heart, "Only 500 pesos". He then told me in a laughing and teasing voice, "It's gonna be shameful, can you add some?" I was hurrying at the front door that time, he was sitting at the sofa in the living room, and I replied "Papa, I dont have work yet, I'm gonna give him more gifts next Christmas" And feeling defeated by my naughtiness, he then let me go..

After the lunch, I went back home and headed at the kitchen asking my mother what was for lunch. My father was still bugging me for the same reason earlier that morning. "You only gave your godchild 500 bucks(ten dollars) and still you have a face to eat at the party? " I was making funny comments and replied stupidly at him,he just laughed at me. And we were so happy making throwing funny words at each other.

The day went so fast, cannot remember the details of that specific afternoon. Dinner came... Our dearest neighbor invited our Santiago clan to have the dinner at their house to celebrate a birthday. That was the tradition every year, since I had my eyes opened, it was a yearly activity, every 28th of december, where everyone was expected to go to that party.

On the way to the living room, the sister of my grandchild stepped in my father's way and asked to be carried. He did carry her after the little girl placed a kiss at my father's right cheek. I was moved by the sweetness and emotions that filled the air surrounding us. And then, we headed, at last, at the dining room to get some foods. It was a glorious evening, everyone was laughing and was making updates about each other's lives. Considering the fact that we're neighbors, it was a usual activity for me,a common activity we lived for years.. Later that evening, my father made his way outside the neighbor's house after making his excuse that he needed to accompany some friends. I saw him from the balcony riding a familiar owner-type jeep. After then, I made my excuse and headed back home which was just across the street after 20 minutes or so.

Past 30 minutes after eight in the evening, I heard the front door opened and my father came home already and was telling my other two sisters not to go out anymore. My mom was at work at that time and my brother happened to be somewhere we did not know, maybe spending time with my cousins or some friends of him. After a while, my father decided to sleep and rest. Shortly after the door closed behind him at their room, my two sisters went out in the house and informed me that they will just go and watch a basketball at the court about 500 meters away from our house. I told my sister to stay at home because Papa told them to. But the refused to follow the eldest fellow, that's me.. And there I stood staring at a closing door..

Minutes passed... About nine in the evening, I heard the door opened from my parent's room. I was at my own room then sending messages to everyone who was listed in my phonebook, boredom made me do it that night. He was calling my name while opening the door in my room and said, "Niña, come here." and then I asked him why, got no reply from him. I went out of my room and followed him through the living room. He told me he was having a hard time breathing. I was worried, just like those nights when we will be up at the middle of our sleep making him calm and making him feel better. He had that complain for the past months and we always told him to go and visit a heart specialist. My dad being a hemophobic (fear of blood) and nosocomephobiac (fear of hospitals), just like me, never intended to visit regularly.

I was in my own nervourness and anxiousness, I called my cousin who was taking medical course to take his blood pressure and to check his condition. I called my Aunt, who happened to live nextdoor too, and asked assistance. When my cousin came, we decided to rush him to the hospital and how hardheaded he was to go to the hospital, we assisted him to the car.

I was sitting beside him, becoming more nervous as minutes passed on the way to the nearest hospital. I was the only one in the immediate family who brought him there since I was the only one at home with him that night. As we entered the emergency room, my heart was beating in fast-paced. I was afraid that time, afraid of losing the most loved man of my life. I was not scared of blood anymore, I was very busy looking after him, talking to the nurse, holding his hand, telling him to hold on..

As minutes passed, I saw him dying before my very eyes...Denial induced through my brain, anger rushed through my veins, grieving started to come... Relatives begun to fill the room, cries overheard at the reception... That was it, he was declared inactive, dead, doomed... Minutes passed by, my mother came, my brother came after, my sisters came next.. A lot of people - more relatives, friends, neighbor who celebrated his birthday - came at the hospital but they did not see him alive, breathing, fighting for his life...

His body was brought to the funeral home. My mother and my two sisters was sent home by some elder brother ans sisters of my dad. My brother and I went after the dead body and chose for the casket, made arrangements at the funeral parlor and settled some bills at the hospital. I chose a white coffin for him...

white for his beauty,
white for his kindness,
white for his undying friendship,
and white for his pure love...

Funeral came... After hearing beautiful stories how my dad lived his life, after his good deeds being shared and after all the people who loved him emphatized with the whole family, we were left with undying love and was about to celebrate the loneliest new year we ever had.

Days passed, the memory and the love of my dad is still with us... I miss those corny jokes he alwasys throw at us, i miss his silly comments, i miss his arguments, i miss his point of views he would just make out of watching a television show or at a simple conversation, i miss the way he gets mad, i miss his way of making "lambing", i miss his caring, i miss his love, i miss everything about him...

Months passed, I already accepted the way of life.. people come and go in our lives. We cannot make them stay, we cannot make regrets, all we can do is live our lives fully and share it with the people we love by showing them how much we care, treasure each day with them and live with them like there is no other day or time to come. We must learn to value people before we lost them, or maybe, just maybe, it will be too late...

This one goes out to those children who is blessed enough to have their fathers still with them this coming father's day, please show them how much really you care... And as for those who will celebrate the day at the church or at their father's graveyard just like me, let us keep on praying for their beloved souls and keep thanking God for giving us a father who up to the end of his life, showed how much he love his children and hope nothing but the best for his daughters and sons...

And one day, I will look back on that same day I lost him..
no more pain,
no more tears,
no more hopes,
no more loneliness..

because Im looking forward of meeting him, not here, not anywhere, but in eternity..

Happy Father's Day...