A Call

Im so happy because I received a call from a special someone. I was kinda worried this past few days because I was thinking I lost him, someone who is very nice and sweet. I thought he already found someone new. But my fears were gone when I heard his loving voice on the other line. I was too excited to hear everything new about him. I just wanna share how happy I am.

100 days

100 days passed since he broke his silence, his secret, his plan of leaving the country a week after that dreadful night. I can still hear the words he said, promises he made at first, hope he kept in my heart for keeping in touch. But that didn't last for an hour. After I heard the revelation, I gathered my thoughts and decided to cut off the communication totally. For what was in my mind, the question lied "What for?". And then he flew off, no words, no message, no goodbye.

I was clearing my head off at that time, trashed a lot of wet tissues on the floor, dumped myself to sleep and waited for any sign of his being. Total nutness.. that was most of my friends told me. And that was true. Yeah, I was a nut for not working 9 days straight, a nut for not taking those good advices, a nut for falling in love that fast, a nut for believing he's also feeling the same way I did, a nut for opening my heart again after three long years, a nut for trusting my heart to a guy like him..

Actually, the communication went back after a month he left. I felt relieved, excited of talking to him again, hurt of learning that he's dating someone else. After that night of heated conversation with him about how we stand on each other, I never intended to call back. I tried calling him, of course, but everytime I see his name on my phonebook and ready to dial his number, I was throwing the phone back to the bed and letting out a very deep sigh.

Taking my toll at the present, I'm doing fine. I managed to date two guys at the same time and either of the two never knew the existence of the other. I managed to keep him out of my mind a few times and managed to think of him a lot of times. What the hell am I doing? Why do on earth am I still longing to hear that lovely voice (that kept me company every day and every night) and still searching for answers that was already given? I should have moved on. That was enough time for me to figure out that he was not the right one, that he had this game plotted on me in the first place, that he just came into this life to give some "little girl" her lessons on playing the same dangerous game.

100 days..none of those days did I ever forget..none of those days did I ever felt less..

How many days would it still take? How many sleepless nights would I still ponder? How many hearts would still be waiting?

Here Without You

Here Without You

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
All the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreamin' of your face.


Chorus:

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, there's only you and me.

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go.

(Repeat Chorus)


Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done.
It gets hard but it won't take away my love.

(Repeat Chorus)

*** I dedicate this song to someone special, someone who got away. Im here without you.. ***

Girl's Day Out

I went out around 6pm to buy a chocolate and on my way home, I saw my ex-boyfriend. I was looking for something, maybe to feel some kind of rush...nothing.

Well, he was not the guy I fell in love with five years ago. Things had changed between us since we decided to part and went on with our lives seperately, or should I say, since when he left me.

Definitely, a lot of things changed. First, we were not in love anymore. I got matured, I hope he, too. He's not that handsome guy I met at my cousin's debut party some 64 months before. I became stronger, more confident and more careful. After we parted, I didn't let any guy near me. I dated some men, but I never let my heart open for any possibilities of starting a new relationship or at least, getting them into my life and vice versa. And Im pretty contented and happy, I thought I am.

Until I saw him walking in the rain with umbrella on his right hand and a plastic bag on the other. I was wondering what was he doing for the past three years. As from what I heard, he is still studying, working during weekends, taking care of his daughter who would turn two on January, and getting closer with his wife..

Honestly, I am not in love with him anymore. When I saw him earlier, I was asking myself, "Did I ever find love before?". Maybe, I was just infatuated, those childish arguments we used to have, those sleepless nights we spent fighting over a dish I didn't get from him for dinner, those tears I shed after learning we have to part ways..

Three years already passed... and I never gave my heart to anyone again... three years and I'm still single, wishing to find love again and feeling scared as hell to be hurt, to be at pain...

Three hours passed after seeing him, I went out again to buy some "kikay stuffs". I brought my sister with me and going to the nearest supermarket, I saw my very first crush at the main entrance smiling at me. He was my classmate since Grade 2 and became one of my highschool barkada. Nothing changed, he was still the same cute guy I used to like. He was still the sweet and naughty guy I used to know, one of those "barumbado" guys we had in school. He was asking for my number, asking if I can introduce her to any girl. Of course, he currently has a girlfriend. Oh well, boys will always be boys, right?

Afer giving him my number and telling him he's gonna keep in touch, I waved goodbye.. and he touched my cheek..that made my night and completed my day...

Reason?

Im upset.. reason? i exactly dont know. I havent slept for more than 24 hours now, did not go to work last night and did not eat my meals..

Suddenly, I felt my world just stopped (although the real world did not stop for me)and for no reason, I dont feel like going to work or doing anything in my life.

My head is aching right now..thinking of not so important things that happened to my life. You can say Im living in my past now or should I say, Im not living at my present now.

Confusion confuses me.. something bothers..

I am miles away from home, from friends, from felicity..

Can you take me home?