100 days
100 days passed since he broke his silence, his secret, his plan of leaving the country a week after that dreadful night. I can still hear the words he said, promises he made at first, hope he kept in my heart for keeping in touch. But that didn't last for an hour. After I heard the revelation, I gathered my thoughts and decided to cut off the communication totally. For what was in my mind, the question lied "What for?". And then he flew off, no words, no message, no goodbye.
I was clearing my head off at that time, trashed a lot of wet tissues on the floor, dumped myself to sleep and waited for any sign of his being. Total nutness.. that was most of my friends told me. And that was true. Yeah, I was a nut for not working 9 days straight, a nut for not taking those good advices, a nut for falling in love that fast, a nut for believing he's also feeling the same way I did, a nut for opening my heart again after three long years, a nut for trusting my heart to a guy like him..
Actually, the communication went back after a month he left. I felt relieved, excited of talking to him again, hurt of learning that he's dating someone else. After that night of heated conversation with him about how we stand on each other, I never intended to call back. I tried calling him, of course, but everytime I see his name on my phonebook and ready to dial his number, I was throwing the phone back to the bed and letting out a very deep sigh.
Taking my toll at the present, I'm doing fine. I managed to date two guys at the same time and either of the two never knew the existence of the other. I managed to keep him out of my mind a few times and managed to think of him a lot of times. What the hell am I doing? Why do on earth am I still longing to hear that lovely voice (that kept me company every day and every night) and still searching for answers that was already given? I should have moved on. That was enough time for me to figure out that he was not the right one, that he had this game plotted on me in the first place, that he just came into this life to give some "little girl" her lessons on playing the same dangerous game.
100 days..none of those days did I ever forget..none of those days did I ever felt less..
How many days would it still take? How many sleepless nights would I still ponder? How many hearts would still be waiting?
I was clearing my head off at that time, trashed a lot of wet tissues on the floor, dumped myself to sleep and waited for any sign of his being. Total nutness.. that was most of my friends told me. And that was true. Yeah, I was a nut for not working 9 days straight, a nut for not taking those good advices, a nut for falling in love that fast, a nut for believing he's also feeling the same way I did, a nut for opening my heart again after three long years, a nut for trusting my heart to a guy like him..
Actually, the communication went back after a month he left. I felt relieved, excited of talking to him again, hurt of learning that he's dating someone else. After that night of heated conversation with him about how we stand on each other, I never intended to call back. I tried calling him, of course, but everytime I see his name on my phonebook and ready to dial his number, I was throwing the phone back to the bed and letting out a very deep sigh.
Taking my toll at the present, I'm doing fine. I managed to date two guys at the same time and either of the two never knew the existence of the other. I managed to keep him out of my mind a few times and managed to think of him a lot of times. What the hell am I doing? Why do on earth am I still longing to hear that lovely voice (that kept me company every day and every night) and still searching for answers that was already given? I should have moved on. That was enough time for me to figure out that he was not the right one, that he had this game plotted on me in the first place, that he just came into this life to give some "little girl" her lessons on playing the same dangerous game.
100 days..none of those days did I ever forget..none of those days did I ever felt less..
How many days would it still take? How many sleepless nights would I still ponder? How many hearts would still be waiting?
posted by Wanderer at 2:40 AM
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