Im missing the loser

I hate this "unwell", missing someone who doesn't even give a damn care on what you're feeling.

I think Im ill, one moment Im thinking about him..another moment, ayoko nang mag-isip. Gusto kong makalimot.. I know it takes time. Why should I feel this way? I dont even love the guy, lets say, I like him very much. Nothing more than that.

Siguro namimiss ko lang yung kakulitan nya, yung pagiging mature nya. When Im with him, everything makes sense. We can talk about anything under the sun, be it politics, career, business, school, achievements, failures, family, food, favorites, hates, friends, funny things as well as sad ones, experiences..

He always made me feel good. He's one of a kind, and suddenly, I wanna become a better person because of him, wanna prove the world that I can still love again and when I was so close to the feeling I was aiming, that's when he left.

Arguing with him is not an argument at all, we share things in mature ways, that's the most thing I like about him, his wittiness.. No petty quarrels.. It was not perfect but we handle everything in a very responsible way. He took care of me, gave me hope, and taught me lessons that I wasn't aware of being possible. I was a hard core before I met him, never trusted another man to knock on the door of my heart, let alone, get near. But he did, more than knocking, he opened it..

I dont wanna pretend anymore, I miss the loser, more than anything in this past few months. Still, Im struggling.. in forgetting.. in being a hard-core again I was once.

Later, I'll be fine..

What about the chorus of "Unwell" by Matchbox20

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me