his farewell

Yesterday, Uncle Priest and Stefano came back to Australia after a one-month vacation. I came in the airport with them straightly after work, so I had my more than 36 hours awake time again! At first, I was reluctant to join them, "Maghahatid lang naman", I thought. But guilt feeling won, it's only for that day anyway, right?

So, I made my way to North Edsa only to be picked up, because they will be coming from Bulacan. I waited for more than 2 hours, wandering in Edsa and in the mall. I was so sleepy and tired that I wanna go home and just forget about going to NAIA. But then again, minsan lang naman...

Fortunately, they did not prolong my agony of waiting for them. They arrived and I squeezed in the van together with my other cousins and Aunties. Going further, we met Uncle Priest in Centennial Terminal 2, NAIA. Together with my Mom, they were on the other van, 30 minutes later after we arrived and parked. It was past six in the evening, their flight was at eight! Hey, I think guys, you better hurry if you don't wanna ride on the next plane.

Alright, and there it went...crying moments...

They went inside the lobby and checked in with no sign of dysphoria. We waited outside, kept on waving our hands everytime Stefano managed to turn his back at us, everytime there was a clear window that seperates us from the area where we cannot go in anymore. And then they called on the phone, as if wanting to get over with the local credits they have left. We were in the speaker phone and started to bid goodbyes. I saw them in the other end of the clear window, Stefano still waving at us; Uncle Priest, holding his nephew and the hand-carry bag.

Uncle Priest was on the line, looking for me. I stepped closer in the phone, was ready to wish him a very sound journey back to Aussie. And then he started to bless me and my family. Tears streamed down my cheek, he asked me to take care of my other siblings and stay strong for my family. And please give me the right not to go on details anymore..

Suddenly, I felt more responsible for everything after that. With no dad, with 3 younger siblings, with Mom; it seems my task is unbearable and yet, bitter sweet.

I don't know how to express my confused heart, my mixed feelings, my hopeless mind..

his farewell was unexpected, so sudden
left a little stronger mask on my face
my heart was bound to set me weaker
confuses my well being, end my sanity.

did you even say, you're leaving?
just because you're tired
doesn't mean i have to weep
and be isolated with dreams.

walking away and running away
he was not given a chance to stay
not even for a little longer
until i can have my wounds healed?

can i have my eyes forever shut?
to join you in the bliss you have now?
will i leave the way you did?
without a warning, just fading away?

im still walking towards your path
i can never be you, so kind and right
why do you have to leave me?
with the cruel world waiting to kill me.