screw the world

"Screw the world because it is better than feeling anything else"

Maybe I should start screwing the world. Maybe, that will be the best way now not to feel confused, not to feel anything painful or simply not to feel anything. Maybe, if I should try to get my life back on track, everything will be alright.

I do not know why all of sudden I'm feeling alone; that I was indeed, being left alone. Or maybe, I really am. I don't have the right to rant or whine or ask anything else from my life now. Or maybe, otherwise is true.

The fact that I found a man I could love and love me in return does not thrill me. It scares me, it burns me, and it refreshes me. But somehow, along with that love is a nearing tragedy, a detrimental concern not only for both of us but also for others. How can the world be unfair? How can you love someone and learn after that you can't, how can you be with someone and think you should not be together? And how can you want someone so bad only to find out that he is not meant for you?

I would love to screw the world, add up to those selfish, mindless people who are driven and ruled by society's measures; join them in their final ecstasy of not seeking the truth, of not listening to reasons. Until then, I wouldn't feel so much hurt, so much betrayed and so much alone...